Friday, May 27, 2011

Beginnings & Endings

Well I seem to be in a comparison mood judging by the titles of my last two posts huh? But they seem to perfectly fit my life right now. While we're still wading through the mess of insurance due to the leak in our plumbing, life goes on.

Our last day of school was Tuesday, and that means Summer has officially begun. YAY! As a kid, of course summer was my favorite time of the year - barefoot freedom, late nights every night, and vacation from almost all responsibility. I love May & early June kind of like I love Friday afternoons - because the promise of the summer still lies before me, unspoiled and unhurried. Time is still on my side. I find in late July I start desperately trying to grasp at the last seconds of precious summer fun even as reality arrives on the shelves of Wal-Mart in the form of massive pallets of school supplies. But right now, I'm just chasing the kids with the water hose and eating popsicles on the front porch. Not a care in the world.

So as summer begins, the corollation is that school, (yes it's just preschool) has ended. This wouldn't be a big deal if it weren't for the fact that Cade's school held a "preschool graduation" complete with caps (no gown), ceremony and even a little diploma. Originally I wasn't going to make Cade go through with this since we are going to hold him back another year in their preschool's Kindergarten Transition class. (Run by the preschool on a 5 day week just like public school kindergarten) Next year we'll go through the same ceremony only this time he'll wear the cap & gown. It just didn't make sense to me to go through with it when we're not really moving on. But while the other moms were emotional and crying, I wasn't. (which is huge for me - I cry over everything!) Tonight, just one day later though, I'm seeing it with new, and slightly teary eyes.

It has hit me tonight that while Cade may not be heading out into the big, bad world of public school next year, he is going to be gone from me 5 days a week. No longer will we have our lazy Monday mornings. No more pajama days or easing into the day while watching cartoons. No, now we have somewhere we HAVE to be. Now I have to face the fact that he's growing up, just as fast as everyone said he would, and that's incredibly bittersweet.

There is an upside though! With Cade in school all 5 days and Macy gone 3 days, I look forward to spending some time developing my hobbies a little bit more. Maybe I'll teach some scrapbook classes. Maybe I'll start doing more photography. The important things is not to hold onto the past & how hard it will be with everything changing, but to focus on the positive and the opportunities the changes have created.

But that's in August. Far away from now. Summer has barely begun and the important things in life right now are working on a tan, planning summer day trips, play dates and activities for the kids, (including plans to do nothing) and celebrating the 10th anniversary of my wedding anniversary. Big summer plans indeed. So I am going to go now and make the most of this beginning...Summer 2011. Happy Friday to all....

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